Making Time For Your Passions as a Full-Time Working Mom

Sharing is caring!

This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link. 

Making Time for Your Passions

“Don’t say me no!”

When I was a toddler, this was my favorite thing to say.  It sounds so cute and innocent right?  But now that I am a mother, I realize that children really are born with their own personalities.  I was always a driven child.  Busy jumping from one creative idea to the next.  I did NOT want to be told no.  In fact, I still don’t.  It drives my husband crazy.  It drove my parents crazy too.  

As I grew older, my drive never really went away.  I always had the attitude that I could do anything I put my mind to.  Shout out to my parents who encouraged me and allowed me to try new things all the time.  

I distinctly remember around age 12 to 13 I had developed my own thriving babysitting business.  I always looked older and was more mature than most kids my age.  I remember I had this binder which held my marketing material, address book, and references.  I went around the neighborhood, knocking on doors to get new clients, and it worked!  It brought me great joy to know that I could make money for myself.  Keeping the money? Now that was a whole other issue. Even back then I was a hustler!

As we grow up, we can often forget who we were as children.  Growing up, having a career, getting married, and having kids has a tendency to make us forget who we used to be.  I have to remind myself that “I’m still that girl!”  I am still the girl who is driven, not afraid of a challenge, not afraid of being different, not afraid of trying new things, not afraid to take risks.  

So many moms feel like they have lost their sense of self.  What they have lost, rather, is the ability to be themselves (their child selves), which is their true identity.  You are still you!  You don’t have to be ashamed and you certainly should make time to be you, without impacting your ability to be a good mom, partner, or employee.

“Don’t say me no!” is a phrase that is still deep inside of me.  I have always been an entrepreneur at heart.  I love the hustle; the adventure; the creative aspects of it all.  Just because you have a “day job” and now the responsibilities that come with being a mom and wife, does not mean you have to stop being who you are.  If you have always loved to write, then write!  If you used to love painting, paint!  If you used to love selling homemade things. Start an Etsy shop and get making! 

I don’t profess to have it all figured out, but here are some things that I do intentionally to fit in time for the things I’m passionate about, without compromising on showing up for my best self for my kids, my husband, and my day job.  

Making time for your passion project

“If you want to be responsible, keep your promises to others. But if you want to be successful, keep your promises to yourself.” – Marie Forleo, Everything is Figureoutable

On average, between the hours of 7am-9pm, FTWMs are spending their whole day taking care of their families and work commitments.  It can feel like there is no time to get anything done because everyone else needs you for something.  Phrases like, “I just can’t seem to get time to myself,” or “There is not enough time in the day to do what I want to do,”  dance around in our heads. 

I get it.  By the time I put my kids to bed, I’m exhausted.  I know there is no way I will have the energy to work on my passion project at night. So, I don’t even try.  We all get the same 24 hours in a day, yet some women seem to be able to accomplish their dreams.  It does not happen overnight.  But it can happen with intention and dedication to the promise you make yourself, which is to never give up and to carve out time each day for your passion project.

Before Rachel Hollis was a brand name and icon for women everywhere, she got into the habit of waking up at 5am (actually more like 4am, but that’s crazy!).  She believes this single habit helped her turn her dreams into reality.  Like Rachel, I believe the single most important thing you can do for yourself is make time for you and that little whisper in your head, telling you that you are made for more.

Easier said than done, right? I struggle big time to get up early each day.  When I wake up at 6am, instead of 5am, which is what I promised myself, I have consciously (although it feels unconscious) made the choice to NOT work on the thing I said I would.

There are several reasons for this:

• Fear of failing
• Not believing in myself; doubt
• Bad habit
• Went to bed too late

Robin Sharma, author of The 5am Club.  

He says this one simple habit can change everything, and I believe it to be true.  After 6:30am, one of my little gremlins wakes up and then it is game over.  All my attention goes to them, even when I say to my eldest, “This is mommy time.” Which, by the way, is not rude.  This is a boundary that I have set up for myself.  My family knows that no one is allowed to bother me before 7am (unless it is a good morning kiss and hug).  Check out this post about “Setting up Boundaries as a FTWM” later.

My WHY

My WHY has to be stronger than my instinct to stay in bed when my alarm goes off.  I have never been the type to just pop out of bed, bright eyed and bushy tailed.  Rather, I am like a grizzly bear in a cave, who no one would dare to disturb in the dead of winter.  Sooooo, my WHY is “me time” and that dream of building an online business which aligns with both my passions and desire to live a life on my terms.

I know, I know, 5am is super early.  But here’s the deal.  Do you want to write your book, build an online business, stand on stage at a fitness competition (this used to be one of my goals too), write a blog about the best places to travel with kids?  Then you’ve got to do the work!  Even more important, it needs to be done in the morning when there are no munchkins running around to distract you every five seconds.  

This morning…scratch that…every morning it is a pain in the ass (actually hips…I’m always sore) to throw myself out of bed. I LOVE SLEEP! In a past life I think I was a bear.  Seriously, I could hibernate year-round.  And then children happened. Bye bye blissful slumber.

The #truth of it is, you need to find about an hour per day to work on your passion project.  Go to bed earlier, so you get the 7-8 hours of sleep your body needs to be at its best cognitively and physically. Not only that, but this helps with the mommy guilt and you will be happier at work because you are not infringing on the daylight hours when your family needs you and you will be way more productive at work because you are arguably happier since you started the day with YOUR passion!

So how does a bear like me wake up early? 

There needs to be a very compelling reason to get up.  I know that before 7am, that is the only time I can have “me time” during the week, before going to work, and before, what seems like the world, needs me. Like building up a muscle, waking up early needs to be repeated each day until your will is stronger than your primal instinct to stay in your nice warm bed. Your brain just wants to keep you safe and comfortable.  It is freakishly powerful.

Here’s what I do to increase my chances of getting up:

1.) Go to bed by 10pm. NO EXCEPTIONS!

2.) My kids MUST be in bed by 8:30pm, so they get enough sleep for their little bodies, and I get some mommy downtime before bed.

3.) Put my phone in the bathroom. This ensures that I have to physically get out of bed to shut it off.  I usually have to pee too, so by that time I’m already up, so I might as well go downstairs.

4.) #Truth – I have a very strong will.  Like I said, I’m part bear, so it is not uncommon for me to “accidentally” fall back into bed, which is why I splash cold water on my face.

5.) Brush my teeth.  After all, it would be weird to crawl back into bed after brushing my teeth, right? (that’s how my crazy brain works)

6.) Coffee!  Set a timer on your coffee maker.  The smell entices me to go downstairs at the wee hours of the morning. Don’t like coffee?  What’s wrong with you!  Drink green tea.

Not going to sugar coat it.  It is tough because I am naturally a night owl, but I feel so amazing when I follow through on this promise to myself.  

Want to learn more about my morning routine?  Let me know in the comments. 

Here are more resources for FTWMs:

10 Best Productivity Tips for Moms Who Work From Home (During Quarantine) 

What about you?

How do you find time for your passions as a FTWM?

I love to hear from other full-time working moms.  

I’d love to know what piqued your interest in this post? I am passionate about creating content that FTWMs care about.  What would you like to hear more about?